Unwilling vows - 23

Associates till death do us part

From a husband to his wife

It was a dark and cold night. Months had passed since Fang and Vanille had tried to fulfill their focus, only to find love and redemption. Cocoon looked peaceful, for once, and the central plaza of Palampolum was almost empty as a lonely woman walked in the streets. There was no one else than Lightning. She came to a stop as she reached the center of the plaza, where the crystallized Serah was.

"Hey there, Serah. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

As always, her crystallized sister didn't answer, but Lightning was growing accustomed to it. She was here to talk a little, even if Serah couldn't hear her. She really needed a moment alone with her little sister.

"You know, it's been one year since you were turn into a crystal. One year and a half since I got married with Noctis. We didn't even have a party for the occasion. He was out in a war. Again. Not that I really should complain about it, it's seems there's nothing else we can do to reign over Pulse but to fight. During the last year, there were ten wars. Noctis has killed ten other fal'cies, but now, he controls his powers at least. We're still in love, even though it feels so strange just to think how much I've changed since the last time we saw each other. It's been so long, Serah, I can't believe you're still in this state."

Serah's skin was pale under the crystal shade and she seemed to be meditating, or rather, sleeping, as the tales were saying she should be.

"There had been less and less war ever since Noctis started unl'ciyng people. He's getting good at that, but not with everyone. Most time, he just gives another focus to the people. He can uncie'th people, but he must follow the fal'cies' rules. As for me, he never had to change my focus. My brand's stable. I've been a l'cie for almost one year and we both think it is quite convenient for me to have my magic powers. Well, he says that he don't want to give me a focus, because it would be wrong for me to be his l'cie, and that he doesn't control his powers enough, but I guess he's just scared he could ask me a focus I couldn't fulfill. He's still a little unstable every now and then. Most of the time, he's alright, but there's a new side of him that's been showing up since he first transformed into a fal'cie. A dark and terrible side. I know he's still scared of himself, that's why I'm trying all I can not to be scared myself. But it's still pretty hard to see him everyday like that and not to know what I can do to help."

The night felt cold and Lightning shivered a little, looking up at the stars.

"Snow has almost completed his sentence in jail. He had three months of detention for helping you fulfilling your Focus. I hoped that when he'd got out, you'd be awake. He would sacrifice anything for you, Serah. I never thought that such a man could exist in the world before, but since I've met with Noctis and learn to believe and confide in others, I've discovered that there was far more good people than just you and our parents out there…"

She paused, looking around her, as she thought someone would come out of the darkness. But no, nothing. Wait a minute; she saw something moving in a corner of the plaza. Then, she recognized his features and blue eyes. Each time he used his powers while keeping all the control, his eyes would go blue like that. He gave her a small smile and went to her side. Lightning wished for a second he couldn't hear everything that she had just said to herself before Serah. It wasn't all bad, but she didn't want her husband to believe that she was holding any grudge for not having a present on their first wedding anniversary or something.

"Hey there Light. I thought you would be here."

She laughed as he wrapped his arms around her to hug her tightly.

"I thought I'd asked you to give me some time alone with my sister."

"Yeah, but I was missing you back at our castle. And I've remembered which day we were today."

"What's so important with the date?"

"It's been one year since we've realized we were in love together. One year and a half since we've been officially married, right, but, one year since it started to be real for us too."

That was why Noctis hadn't done anything on their first year anniversary. It hadn't been one year in his heart!

"I never get to find a fitting present for you, Light, but after doing some research, I realized what it was you really wanted. So here, take a good look behind you."

"What are you…?"

He had her turning around and she gasped as she finally understood what it all meant. Noctis was a fal'cie after all. And Serah's crystal shine for the last time as it started to vanish in the air. All that was left was Lightning's sister, Cocoon's second princess.

"I can't believe it." she whispered under her breath.

"You better should. It's been a year for her too. Go and see her."

Serah fell upon the ground as her cold prison disappeared and gasped with shock as she completely awake. This was for real? Wasn't it another of her dream? Just a while ago, she was listening to Lightning's monologue and now… Lightning's pure laugh of joy seemed another part of unreality for her, and Serah had to wait and to feel her sister's arms wrapped around her in a tight hug to believe this was for real.

"Sis, you're finally back."

Serah was astonished by every new feeling she was getting. The air on her skin, in her lungs, the beating of her heart, the pain and the joy overwhelming her. It was so, so refreshing to be alive and awake at new! She hugged Lightning back and couldn't help herself but started to cry. Noctis stood back, taking in that incredible scenery. The sisters were together. Finally. That was one hell of a present, he thought for himself. But maybe I should have given it to her before…

He had had his hands full for the last few months, trying to understand his new powers and not to let them control him. The last war he fought, three months ago, had been pretty tough. Lucas had almost gotten killed out there and when he came back home, it was to hear about Heather and Shawn's baby, who was driving Lightning mad. Maybe because his wife was envious of her friend Heather, maybe because the glare her mother-in-law was continuously shooting at her since the birth of a baby that wasn't her grandson. For some reason, seeing his best friend being a father gave him the chills about the very idea of having kids himself. How could he ever be a good dad while being the king of Cocoon and Pulse, while fighting wars, while being a fal'cie and a husband? He already had some trouble pulling all that off.

He looked back up at Lightning. They never had really talked about that question anyway. For now, she was happy. Well, Serah seemed annoyed with something, but after all, she had missed one year of everyone else's lives. Soon, the sister began arguing and Noctis could hear them both from way afar.

"Is it true Lightning? Snow's still in jail as we speak? Is he? Because, it wasn't his fault at all, it was I that should have…"

"It's okay Serah, he told me everything and no one really resent you for what happened. After all, you did all you could to prevent the people from being killed. Snow saved all the rest."

"But why is he imprisoned? I should be the one in prison, I was the l'cie!"

"It's okay, he's getting out tomorrow. You were already imprisoned in your crystal for all this time. I'm sure you've suffered enough."

"I'm sorry. I'm so happy, but I miss him so much at the same time. You came to see me all the time, but he never did, not even once."

"Don't be afraid, Serah, everything's going to be okay now. You'll see Snow soon. He hasn't forgotten you at all, you don't have to worry."

"How did you... Oh, thanks, Light, thank you so much!"

"What? But I didn't do anything."

Serah smiled as she hugged her sister. After all, Lightning hadn't change that much. She had still trouble to understand why someone could be touched by simple words of encouragement. But still, the very fact that she was there and tried to cheer her up was the greatest gift Serah could have ever asked for. She noticed Noctis in the background and her smile grew even wider as she remembered what Lightning had told her while she was still sleeping. Noctis had conquered her sister's heart. He was a fal'cie, but a good one, who tried his best to help l'cies all over the world. And he had come to wake her up from her crystallized stasis. Finally, it seemed that life could be fair. As soon as she could be in Snow's arms, she would be able to thank Orphan for letting her live that much long.

"I must be the happiest girl alive in all Cocoon."

"I'm glad to hear that."

…

Serah's return was celebrated all over Cocoon, since the people missed their princess. She cried a little more as everyone welcomed her back in her town, but she cried even more when Snow was brought before her. His hair was longer, his bandana a little loose and he looked as if he had aged from ten years in only one with his beard. He looked hot and her heart melted in her chest as he simply opened his arms to her. She rushed to him, almost throwing herself at him, to find shelter in his embrace, for the first time since so, so long! As she snuggled against him, she sensed their necklace hanging on his neck. She smiled as she felt his shivers. He had missed her so much. Wanted her so much back in his life. He had break apart once and it felt hard not to break apart now, since this dream seemed just too good to be true. Then she kissed him through her tears and he lifted her to the sky, yelling his joy like a child would, making her laugh for the first time in a year. The crowd gathered around them cheered and applauded and Lightning let Noctis hold her close, even if everyone could see them. No one was looking at them, every eyes were on Snow and Serah.

"Let's get married now that this nightmare's over." Serah suggested softly to her fiancé.

He smiled even more, if it was possible and the crowd roared her approval. For once, everyone would have a reason to feast! And it was the greatest occasion there ever was. Their princess was finally back and happy!

…

Lightning sighed as she got to bed that night. After everything that had happened in the last few days, she couldn't believe she was ever angry because of her mother-in-law's glares or even jealous of Heather's baby. Her sister was back and getting married in the next week. She had a loving and fateful husband, who was a dashing and sexy king. She had one million of men ready to lend their lives to her cause in any war or conflict and she totally ruled at fighting, with or without them! She had become the queen of two worlds and was now pretty good to fight back the nobles in and outside the court. She had her best friend to catch back on any girl thing she could have missed during her tomboy phase. And if she needed to laugh, she always had Shawn, Vanille and even the couple of Fang and Sync. Still, she had some little matters to be preoccupied. She put one hand on her brand, sighing deeply. And there was another and even more pressing matter for preoccupations.

She stared at the ceiling, trying to find a way to put it. It wasn't terrible at all, on the contrary, but once Noctis knew… Things were going to change, once again. She didn't mind, but was still a little scared. Noctis loved her now, but how would he take the news she had for him? She had to tell him soon, otherwise, he would understand himself in sometimes. Maybe not, if another war was to break out and keep him away from her for a few months, the surprise would already be home before he came back. That idea scared her. Could something like that happened? Each time he had to go away, it felt harder to let him go. Longer to wait for each day and mostly each night to end.

"How can I announce him… This time, I want him to be the first to know." she thought out loud.

It was that very moment that Noctis choose to enter the room and he frowned at his wife's statement.

"The first to know what, dear?"

"Noctis?! You're already here?"

"Well, since you've been complaining a lot about me staying for too long in my office, meeting nobles and all, I thought I would join you sooner tonight, you see? So… There's something you need to tell me?"

He seemed a bit worried, but as she smiled at him, he understood it surely wasn't that much a great deal. He took the time to remove his boots, lock the door, and throw his coat in a corner of the room before to walk up to the bed.

"Is it your brand? Or your sister?"

"No, not at all, Noctis. I'm doing okay and Serah is still surely the happiest woman alive on Cocoon. And that's mostly thanks to you."

He looked down, smiling slyly. He liked it when she praised him, but he didn't think he really deserved it. If he had been able to do the same thing while just being a normal average guy, he would have preferred to. And the praising would felt more owned.

"So, you wanted to talk about your sister?"

Lightning had to think pretty fast to find something else to say. She didn't want to tell him her little secret right now. Not like that. She would tell him today, but not now. She wanted him to be in a good state of mind. And at the same time as the idea hit her, she felt that it really was the right thing to do. She had to pay him back for his gift.

"No, Nocty. I wanted to talk about us. About the gift you gave me. It was for our first anniversary, but I never got to give you anything in return."

He blushed a little at that.

"You really don't have to; you've already given me more than all I've ever wanted."

"It won't be that much. Just come over here, will you?"

He complied and sat next to her. She took his hands in her own hands, and their fingers intertwined, almost automatically.

"I really, really love you, Noct."

"I know, Claire. I love you too."

She smiled as he used her real name. It always felt as heart-warming as the first time.

"Do you remember the last time you came back from a war?"

"Of course I remember."

… flash-back…

I hope she won't get mad at me, he thought as he sneaked in the castle. He wouldn't see anyone but his wife. He wasn't in the right state to see anyone anyway. He surfed on his swords, entered by an open window and hid himself in the shadows to walk through the corridors and the stairs keeping him apart from his wife. As he entered the room, Lightning had jumped a little, surprised that anyone would come to see her. He locked the door behind him, trying to hold back his shaking.

"Noctis?"

How he'd long to hear his name in her mouth. To hear her calling him like that. To see her, standing before him.

"I missed you."

"I know the war's over, but I thought you wouldn't be back before another week."

"I couldn't wait that much. Are you disappointed to see me too soon?"

"No, not at all." she replied with a smile.

He walked up to her and as he stepped in the dim light of her night lamp, she could see the bruises on his skin and the dried blood on his torn clothes. Maybe that war was over in facts, but he was still fresh back from the battlefield.

"What… What happened to you?!"

"Well, I've been in a war after all… There were mines planted everywhere." he sighed.

She looked at him with utter disbelief. He never mentioned that in his letters. She was forced to stay back at their castle to treat with the nobles and keep the other countries in check. She was about to get up of her bed, but Noctis pushed her down, to lie over her. She wanted to touch his face, to hold him close, to stop his shaking, to erase the fears still shining in his eyes.

"Noctis…" she whispered as he started kissing her neck.

His hands were a little clumsier than usual as they looked for her clothes under the covers. He wanted her. He needed her. The feeling wasn't scary. But she wanted to comfort him before, to see his shakings stops.

"I still can't believe I'm back." he admitted between two kisses. "In one piece. With all the soldiers that we've lost. I couldn't use my powers, not even once in that stupid war. I was helpless. Just as any other man. I felt so weak."

"I don't understand."

"I can use my powers now, but back there, in Necropolia, I couldn't. Something stopped me. Like that time, when we've fallen in the Shrine where you were turn into a l'cie. I couldn't protect anyone. I couldn't save anyone."

"Even with your powers…"

He suddenly stopped his passionate kiss to look at her in the eyes and she realized just how shaken he
was.
"I've stepped on a mine. I'd seen my men exploding, being reduced to shreds. Limbs and blood
everywhere. I… I save myself by sliding the foot of someone else in the place of my own foot. I was so scared when I ran back to our army lines that when I saw another man standing on a mine himself, I almost ran past him. I almost refuse to save him, just to get a place to hide and cry over my sorry ass."
His shakings were worse now and he was clenching to her, as if he could fall if he ever let her go. She hugged him tight, shivering as she tried to picture what it could have been. She shook her head as he repeated that he'd almost abandoned one of his soldiers.

"What kind of king would do that?"

"You saved him, Noctis, that's all that counts."

"Yeah, I did save him. But all the while, I thought in the back of my mind that he was better off dead. As long as I was alive, I didn't want to care about anyone else's problems."

"Noct…"

He was disgusted with himself. He wanted her to say he was only human, that it was okay, but at the same time, he wanted her to yell at him, to punch him in the face. Instead of all that, she kissed his left cheek. And then the right cheek. She started kissing him all over the face. His eyelids, his forehead, his cheeks… He shivered.

"It wasn't your fault. You did your best. Anyone else would have broken apart in such a situation and no one could blame you for thinking what you thought. You can't be perfect. I know it Noctis. I should have been with you."

"No, no, I don't want you on any battlefield ever again."

"What?!"

He coiled up against her as she yelled and she sighed. He was just a kid now. He wanted comfort, he wanted warmth and he wanted peace! Anything that would erase the pictures of death and destruction playing over and over again in his mind.

"Noctis, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I'm really that pathetic now?"

She ran a hand through his messy hair, making him lay his head over her chest. He held back sobs, once more, and she could smell the dirt, the canon powder and the oil that covered him.

"No, you're just hurt. No one should have to fight war. Not even a king. And for being concerned even by what you thought for yourself while you were out there, you must be the greatest king there ever was, Nocty."

"I'm sorry, Claire. If only I was stronger, I wouldn't put you through that. Having to comfort me every times I come back from a war. What kind of husband am I…" he complained.

"Don't say that. You always did the same for me when I'm back from my wars."

"But I…"

He was cut short by her kiss and she had him on his back, sitting on top of him. As she pressed herself to him, he whined softly. He felt bad as he enjoyed her presence. While he was alive, all the dead soldiers who had had a wife waiting back home themselves…

"You must make it up for the dead Noctis. Live your life in their stead. Live it to its fullest. It's the only way to pay them back their sacrifice. That and giving peace to their country. The peace's already here. And we'll make sure it'll stay. In the mean time…"

She undid his shirt, and bit her lips as she saw the bruises and the burns all over his skin.

"I'll have to heal you, my poor Nocty."

He tried to protest, but was growing too weak even to talk. He cried a little, even if Lightning's hands were soft and tender. When she was done fixing him up, she pulled him into a kiss. And she made love to him, for the first time. He had never been that vulnerable before. And even if every now and then he would surrender himself to her, he never felt as much in need than at that time.

…flash-back ends…

"What is it, Light? You look so far from me."

"I was just remembering how cute you were that night. Even if you were so hurt, I would want to see you like that again. Not because a war happened or anything bad. Just because you'd be my man and because you love me."

He blinked at that, surprised beyond words.

"I… Is that a compliment or something?"

"I'm not sure myself. But I wanted to tell you that you gave me a wonderful gift that night, even if you thought you had only humiliated yourself."

He frowned, even more puzzled. She smiled shyly and shivered as she took all the courage within her to tell him out loud.

"I'm… We're going to have a baby, Noctis. I'm pregnant."

"You're… We… Wow." was all he could mutter at first.

She was trembling a little and he pulled her into a hug. She wanted him to react more than that, to say something, but it seemed that Noctis couldn't find any words to express how he was feeling.

"Say, Claire. Are you happy?"

"Well, I don't know… Are YOU happy?"

"Only if you say that you really want to be the mother of my kids. This is so sudden, I…"

He laughed suddenly, and she smiled a little more.

"So, you want to be the father of my children?" she asked.

"But of course! I just thought. I thought that you didn't feel ready yet."

"I don't know if I am. I learned it a few days ago. I was really happy, but at the same time, there was this entire ruckus with my sister being back and… I was so afraid of what you would think."

"Why's that?" he replied, parting a little from her to look at her in the eyes.

"Well, because… I'm still a l'cie remember. I should have completed my focus before to go and get pregnant or…"

"Hold on a sec. It's partly my fault, right? So why are you blaming yourself?"

She grabbed on his shoulders and tried her best not to shout.

"But you don't understand, Noct! I'm a l'cie, what if I hurt the baby by using my magic, or turning into a crystal, or even a cie'th?"

"Lightning… Didn't you ask anyone how things were going here for mothers? There have already been mothers pregnant while they were still l'cie. I would be more worried with the fact that I'm a fal'cie in this case and how the baby will turn out in the end."

"Moron! You've already made all the tests and the doctors said any baby of yours would be perfectly normal."

"Really? They didn't tell me. But anyway, you shouldn't worry. I'll watch your back and make sure nothing can happen to you or the kid. Maybe my powers were gone during that stupid war, but now they're back for good."

His confidence was reassuring. And he looked so happy, Lightning almost wanted to cry from joy. For once, everything was looking good. Then, she remembered another of her worries.

"Oh, if me being a l'cie is alright, what about the baby then? You want a girl or a boy?"

"Any will do. It's not as if I could choose."

"Well, your mother wants a girl, that's for sure, but since I've seen Shawn with his little boy, I couldn't help but think…"

"I don't care Lightning, as long as our baby is healthy and live in a peaceful world. And as long as you'll be happy with me, there's nothing else that could be important for me."

She smiled as he took her in his arms and they both lied back in their bed.

"Then, will you chose a name?"

"A name?! Already?"

She kissed him softly and he soon was convinced that he could give it some thought.

"If it's a girl, I'll name her Estelle. I'll call her Stellie and she'll be my little princess."

Lightning giggled and found herself lost in her thoughts. Things were finally looking up. Noctis was going to be the father of her child. He already was, of course, but he really wanted to. She was still a little afraid. If she had a baby, how would she take care of him? Would she be a good mom? Would the baby look like her or would he take after his dad? Did she wanted a boy or a girl? Was her pregnancy going to be easy given the fact she was a queen? What would Romilda says when she learn the good news? She was so anxious about everything. She wanted to go out and train and fight to let all her stress out. After all, she wouldn't be able to fight in a short while without putting the baby in danger. Well, as the nurses and the doctors would say, but she sure wanted to keep working with Noctis on the peace of their kingdoms.

"If it's a boy, I'll name him Storm." she thought out loud.

"Storm?!"

"Why, it's cute!"

"But…"

"It doesn't sound Latin at all, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah, but…"

"You name the girl, I'll name the boy, alright?"

He smiled before to agree with her. After all, how should they call the son of Lightning?

"I love you, Light."

"I love you so much, Noct," she replied.

To be continued…